May 2013
jpierrepontcriss:
my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
givemetrills:
*tumblr user pizza reblogged one of my posts.* I was going to make a pun about it, but the delivery would have been all wrong.
seblaine:
time flies when you’re having fun and by fun i mean sitting at home stuffing your face staring at a computer screen and freaking out over things that aren’t real with strangers you met on the internet
royal-high:
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
goddammitganon:
fun fact i learned yesterday: a group of pugs is called a “grumble”
sapphicslut:
reblogging my selfies gets u swaggy points
feistie:
megvsshark:
trishhyy:
when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned
Or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet.
ITGOTBETTER
hotweiners:
methlabrador:
i accidentally just wrote “the soviet onion” on my paper and now i can’t stop laughing
Layers and layers of communist propaganda
wordswordsworlds:
Those moments where you desperately want to say something but your mind just
mirandagettingfit:
yolympics:
changing from jeans to pajama pants
how accurate
me: *laughs*
parents: what's so funny what's going on who are you talking to can i see what's the joke haha i bet that's great what are you trying to hide from us
cheese3d:
nothings worse than soft grapes
WHEN SUMMER WEATHER IS FINALLY HERE
howdoiputthisgently:
I’M LIKE:
AND SHORTLY AFTER THAT I’M LIKE:
“Let them miss you. Sometimes when you’re always available, they take you for...”
– Unknown (via fawun)
1 tag
skinnyorrbust replied to your post: Except there is this one guy who I thought was…
Ewwww does he dip?
YES and I just…*shudder*
2 tags
Except there is this one guy who I thought was exceptionally cool, and then tonight he was chewing, and the two things I can’t handle are spit and boogers, esPEcially brown spit *gagging*
I mean, he’s still cool, but couldn’t he do that privately?! Why would we want to watch him shake that bottle around OMG I WANT TO VOMIT JUST THINKING ABOUT IT OMG
4 tags
I just spent the last 5 hours learning a lot about some of the other COAR members (sharing stories and such).
We just finished the 3rd day.
I can only imagine how close we’ll be by the end of the summer.
jwisser:
thepasta-nerada:
vvrathia:
the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot
and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like
This is actually the most profound and appropriate literary allusion I’ve encountered so far this week.
2 tags
shutupaubrey:
team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”
onefitmodel:
realising that we’re almost halfway through the year 2013 and i have literally achieved nothing
3 tags
suojure:
malijuanastyles:
i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop...
batteur:
ah yes I’ve just thought the perfect sassy answer to that horrible thing someone told to me 4 years ago
prop-215:
dazegetbrighter:
what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
How stoned are you right now?
